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Here are the tastingspoons players. I’m in the middle (Carolyn). Daughter Sara on the right, and daughter-in-law Karen on the left. I started the blog in 2007, as a way to share recipes with my family. I’m still doing 99% of the blogging and holding out hope that these two lovely and excellent cooks will participate. They both lead very busy lives, so we’ll see.

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BOOK READING (from Carolyn):

Music of Bees, Eileen Garvin. Absolutely charming book about a woman in midlife, lonely, who raises bees, also makes unlikely friends. Heart-warming and very interesting about beekeeping.

A Postcard from Paris, Alex Brown. Really cute story. Dual time line, 1940s and present day about renovating an old apartment in Paris, things discovered.

Time of the Child, Niall Williams. Oh such a good book. Very small village in Ireland, 1960s. A baby is left on the doorstep. The town all whispers and helps. I listened to an interview of the author, which made me like him and his books even more.

Sipsworth, Simon Van Booy. If you like animals you’ll swoon. An old woman who really wants to die finds a tiny mouse in her house and befriends it and finds a reason to live. Utterly charming book.

The Forger’s Spell, Edward Dolnick. True story. For seven years a no-account painter named Han van Meegeren managed to pass off his paintings as those of Johannes Vermeer.

If You Lived Here, You’d be Home by Now, Christopher Ingraham. Could hardly put it down – about a journalist who takes on a challenge to move to small town in Minnesota and write about it. He expects to hate it and the people and place, but he doesn’t. Absolutely wonderful true story.

The River We Remember, William Kent Kreuger. 1950s, Minnesota. A murder and the aftermath. Could hardly put it down. Kreuger has such a vivid imagination and writing style.

How the Lights Gets In, Joyce Maynard. An older woman returns to New Hampshire to help care for her brain-injured son. Siblings and family, lots of angst and resentments.

The Filling Station, Vanessa Miller. Every American should read this book. A novelized retelling of the Tulsa massacre in 1921. Absolutely riveting.

The Story She Left Behind, Patti Callahan Henry. Love this author. Based on a true story. A famous author simply vanishes, leaving her husband and daughter behind. She had invented a mystical language no one could translate. Present day, someone thinks he’s solved the riddle, contacts the family. Really interesting read.

The Girl from Berlin, Ronald Balson. Love anything about Tuscany. An elderly woman is being evicted from a villa there, with odd deed provenance. Two young folks go there to help unravel the mystery. Loved it.

The Island of the Colorblind, Oliver Sacks, M.D. Nonfiction. The dr is intrigued by a remote Pacific island where most of the inhabitants are colorblind. He also unravels a mystery on Guam of people born with a strange neurological problem. Medical mysteries unveiled. Very interesting.

The Bookbinder, Pip Williams. Post 1914 London. Two sisters work at a bookbindery. They’re told to not read the books. One does and one doesn’t. One has visions beyond her narrow world; the other does not. Eventually the one gets into Oxford. Lovely story.

The Paris Express, Emma Donoghue. 1895 on a train to Paris, a disaster happens. You’ll delve into the lives of many people who survived and died in the crash.

A Race to the Bottom of Crazy, Richard Grant. This is about Arizona. Author, wife and child move back to Arizona where they once lived. Part memoir, research, and reporting in a quest to understand what makes Arizona such a confounding and irresistible place.

The Scarlet Thread, Francine Rivers. A woman’s life turned upside down when she discovers the handcrafted quilt and journal of her ancestor Mary Kathryn McMurray, a young woman who was uprooted from her home only to endure harsh frontier conditions on the Oregon Trail.

A Place to Hide, Ronald Balson. 1939 Amsterdam, an ambassador has the ability to save the lives of many Jewish children. Heartwarming.

Homeseeking, Karissa Chen. Two young Chinese teens are deeply in love, but in China. Then their families are separated. Jump to current day and the two meet again in Los Angeles.

North River, Pete Hammill. He always writes such a good story. A doctor works diligently healing people from all walks of life. His wife and daughter left him years before. One day his 3-yr old grandson arrives on his doorstep.

A Very Typical Family, Sierra Godfrey. A very messed-up family. Three adult children are given a home in Santa Cruz, Calif, but only if the siblings meet up and live in the house together. A very untypical scenario but makes for lots of messes.

Three Days in June, Anne Tyler. The usual Anne Tyler grit. Family angst. This wasn’t one of my favorites, but it was entertaining and very short.

Saved, Benjamin Hall. Author is a veteran war reporter. Ukraine, 2022, he nearly loses his life to a Russian strike. Riveting story – he survives, barely.

Grey Wolf, Louise Penny. Another Inspector Gamache mystery in Quebec. She is such an incredible mystery writer.

All the Colors of the Dark, Chris Whitaker. A missing person mystery, a serial killer thriller, a love story, a unique twist on each. Could hardly put it down.

Orbital, Samantha Harvey. Winner of 2024 Booker Prize. I don’t usually like those, but I heard the author interviewed and she hooked me. This is not a normal book with a beginning, a story and an end. It’s several chapters of the day in the life of various astronauts at the ISS (Int’l Space Station). All fictional. She’s been praised by several real astronauts for “getting it” about space station everyday life.

The Blue Hour, Paula Hawkins. An island off Scotland. Inaccessible except when the tide is out. Weird goings on. An artist. A present day mystery too.

Iron Lake, William Kent Krueger. A judge is murdered and a boy is missing. Riveting mystery.

Tell the Wolves I’m Home, Carol Ricks Brunt. 1980s. A 14-yr old girl loses her beloved uncle. Yet a new friendship arises, someone she never knew about.

Four Treasures of the Sky, Jenny Zhang. 1880s, a young girl is kidnapped in China and brought to the United States. She survives with many hurdles in the path.

The Boy Who Fell out of the Sky, Ken Dornstein. Memoir, 1988. The author’s brother died in the PanAm flight that went down in Lockerbie, Scotland. A decade later he tries to solve “the riddle of his older brother’s life.”

Worse Care Scenario, T.J. Newman. Oh my. Interesting analysis of what could/might happen if a jet crashed into a nuclear plant. Un-put-downable.

Song of the Lark, Willa Cather. Complicated weave of a story about a young woman in about 1900, who has a gifted voice (singing) and about her journey to success, not without its ups and downs.

Crow Talk, Eileen Garvin. Charming story which takes place at a remote lake in Washington State, about a few people who inhabit it, the friendships made, but also revolving around the rescue of a baby crow.

The Story Collector, Evie Woods. Sweet story about some dark secrets from an area in Ireland, a bit magical, faerie life, but solving a mystery too.

A Sea of Unspoken Things, Adrienne Young. A woman investigates her twin brother’s mysterious death. She goes to a small town in California to figure it out, to figure HIM out.

The King’s Messenger, Susanna Kearsley. 1600s England, King James. About one of his trusted “messengers,” and his relationship with a young woman also of “the court.” Lots of intrigue.

In the Shadow of the Greenbrier, Emily Matchar. Interesting mystery in/around the area of the famous resort in White Sulphur Springs, West Virginia.

Isola, Allegra Goodman. Hard to describe, survival story on an island in the 1600s.

Save the Date, Allison Raskin. Rom-com, witty, LOL funny. Clever.

The Sirens, Emilia Hart. Numerous time-lines, Australia. Mysteries abound, nightmares, abandoned baby, weird allergies.

Red Clay, Charles Fancher. LOVED this book. Mostly post-Civil War story about the lives of slaves in Alabama during Reconstruction.

Stars in an Italian Sky, Jill Santopolo. Dual time line, 1946 and recent time. Love stories and a mystery.

Battle Mountain, C.J. Box. Another one of Box’s riveting mysteries. Love his descriptions of the land.

Something Beautiful Happened, Yvette Corporon. A memoir of sorts in Greece, tiny island of Erikousa, where the locals hid Jews during WWII. All elusive stories told by the author’s grandmother.

The Jackal’s Mistress, Chris Bohjalian. 1860s Virginia, about a woman who saves the life of a Union soldier. Really good story.

Song of the Magpie, Louise Mayberry. Really interesting story about Australia back in the days when it was mostly a penal colony. Gritty strength of a woman trying to thrive with her farm.

The Boomerang, Robert Bailey. A thriller that will have you gripping the book. About a lot of secrets surrounding the president (fictional novel, remember) and his chief of staff and about cancer. A cure. Such a good story.

Care and Feeding, Laurie Woolever. Really interesting memoir of a woman driven to succeed in the restaurant business. She worked for Mario Batali and then Anthony Bourdain. Gritty stories.

Everything is Tuberculosis, John Green. Maybe not a book for everyone. A real deep dive into the deadly tuberculosis infection, its history. I heard the author interviewed and found the book very interesting.

The Book Lovers Library, Madeline Martin. Fascinating read about Boots’ drug stores’ lending library. And the people who worked in them.

The Arrivals, Meg Mitchell Moore. LOL funny, about a middle-aged couple whose children (and their various family members) return to the family home and the chaos that ensues.

My Life as a Silent Movie, Jesse Lee Kercheval. About grief. A big move to Paris, finding herself a new life with a new set of real blood family.

Escape, Carolyn Jessop. Another memoir about a woman really in bondage in Utah, Mormon plural marriage.

 

Tasting Spoons

My blog's namesake - small, old and some very dented engraved silver plated tea spoons that belonged to my mother-in-law, and I use them to taste my food as I'm cooking.

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Posted in Pork, on January 29th, 2015.

sweet_sour_cabbage_beer_brats

A simple dinner, my old favorite sweet and sour cabbage, and I threw in a couple of beer brats during the last 5 minutes and that was my meal.

For awhile I haven’t given much of an update about me, my grief journey, or my foot injury. Or anything very personal. Here goes.

My foot: did I mention that I did have an MRI? Finally. Once I found out it could be done in an open MRI machine. Should-a done that a long time ago, because what it showed that darned sharp rock I stepped on tore my plantar fascia. Not just a strain or sprain, but a small tear, that’s 80-90% through the plantar fascia. So I’m back in the gosh-darned boot. Have been in it now for 4 weeks. Have another 2+ to go before I see the doctor again. I am, however, getting cold laser treatments to the area (from my chiropractor), which increases blood flow and, supposedly, helps cell growth (scar tissue, really) to grow/heal the plantar fascia. And I’ve only had 2 treatments so far and I swear, I can tell a slight difference. I was able to walk into the regular grocery store this morning and I did 3 aisles, came home and my foot doesn’t hurt like it did just 2 weeks ago when I tried that. So, I’m hoping that means it’s on the path to recovery!

My grief journey: it’s hard to say exactly where/how I am. I still, this being said at 10-months since my darling DH’s death, have rough days. I’m sure it’s not unusual. Most of my friends aren’t aware that I have bad days. They usually occur when I’m at home, on a day when I don’t have much planned. That’s when I miss Dave the most. That’s when I think about him more. When the house feels too big for me, and it’s too quiet. Memories come pouring in, and the tears flow out. Of when I’d see his smiling face as I came and went to my day’s activities. I miss him at our bible study group, when he’d make some very thoughtful comments. I miss him when dinnertime comes around, because I eat alone. And of course I miss his hugs and kisses. That goes without saying. I still haven’t been able to set the dining room table with 2 place settings and eat my dinner meal there without him. I want to, but can’t. I know he understands why. I miss him every night as I get into bed. But I try very hard not to dwell on it at that time because I don’t like crying myself to sleep. I get all choked up and it takes awhile for my sinuses to clear out so I can sleep. When I say my nighttime prayers I usually ask God to tell Dave I love him. Probably sounds kind of silly, but it comforts me. I know God answers prayers, so I hope he does that for me. Or sometimes, in my prayers I just speak the words in my head, directly to Dave, telling him I love him and miss him so much.

Dave and I used to go out to dinner (to nicer places) at least twice a week. I don’t do that anymore, and I miss it. I haven’t screwed up my courage yet to go to a nice restaurant by myself. I’ve read about women who do it, but I haven’t yet. Most of my friends are married couples anyway. I have some widow acquaintances, but none that I’ve bonded with very much –  yet. I need to work on that.

My life is so changed, now that I’m a widow. I still have lots of activities – I don’t sit at home day after day in a stupor – far from it. I’m busy. Almost too busy sometimes. And I wonder if I’m just masking my grief by staying too busy. Don’t know the answer to that. I suppose only a grief counselor could tell me. But nearly every widow I talk with tells me she’s managed her grief by keeping busy. Some widows have told me, just recently, that their 2nd year was harder than the first year. I still feel very married. Dave’s just not here. But he’s still my husband – in my mind. In the eyes of God and of the law I’m not married. Hard for me to accept, emotionally.

There’s still a lot of paperwork, meetings, trust tax returns, attorney visits, etc. regarding Dave’s and my trust. Nothing bad, just time consuming and it keeps dragging on and on. New bank accounts, closing old ones, etc.

My life is just different. I live solo. Nobody really cares where I am, that I’ll be home at 2:00, or greets me. No one really cares what I do with my time. I don’t feel like I accomplish very much anymore – my life doesn’t have the meaning it used to.  (I do have things I do – I sing in the choir, am in two bible study groups, I’m doing ministry in several areas, I’m in several organizations, have 3 book clubs I’m in, occasional lunches out with girlfriends.) I don’t think I’m depressed – I have days when I’m down – but most days I’m okay. Writing this, though, brings tears to my eyes because my emotions are right on my sleeve. My kids think I should get a dog or cat. I don’t think I should have a dog because I can’t walk much right now. A cat might be okay, but I’m taking some trips in coming months, and it would be a disservice to a new cat to get acquainted and then leave for awhile. I’m taking a trip to Europe with friends. Not for awhile – later this spring. My San Diego granddaughter is keeping her eye out for a rescue cat for me. I have a particular breed in mind (a Snowshoe) that’s spayed and de-clawed already. It would be an indoor cat completely. I live in an area not suitable for outdoor cats (way too many coyotes). I’d probably prefer a dog, but I’d have to drive the dog somewhere to take a walk (no sidewalks or areas suitable for walking where I live, a narrow 2-lane street that doesn’t even have curbs).

Which brings me to my mobility. I can walk, and I do. I’m able to go to and from places, short distances, and I spread my activities out over the course of the day (that’s what the dr. advised). But I can’t walk around a block even – that’s too much for now. I can drive with no difficulty (injury is to my left foot) thankfully. But I’m severely limited in how much distance walking I can do. I can’t go to a mall and visit 2-3 stores. I need someone to drop me off close to door so I don’t have to walk very far for anything. In a month, I hope I’ll be walking again, more normally, without the boot. I hope. I pray. If you’re a praying person, I ask for prayers for the healing of my foot.

Cooking? Well, there’s not a whole lot I do. That I can do. Simple meals I can manage. Standing up at my kitchen counter is the most painful thing I do, along with standing up in church to sing in the choir. After about 5 minutes of standing I can begin to feel an ache in my foot. So I spread out the dinner prep a little bit if I can, with a few sit-downs in between prep and cooking. I got a craving the other day for some sweet and sour cabbage. When I found the recipe some years ago that I’ve posted already (link up in first line) I’ve stuck with it. I like it. Just the right amount of sweet and tart. All I did this time was chunk-up some bratwurst (happened to be beer brats) in it during the last 5 minutes of the cabbage cooking time, and that was dinner. It was very satisfying. I had dinner out the other night with my friend Linda in San Diego, and I ordered an appetizer portion of mac ‘n cheese. And wings. That was dinner. Both things I rarely order, but oh, did they taste good. All comfort food for sure.

As I’m writing this I’m going to a new cooking class with my friend Cherrie tonight, so hopefully I’ll have some recipes to share from that class. I have posts that go out about 3 more weeks. I’ve managed to keep posting every 4 days or so. I still don’t know how long I’ll continue – I just take it one day at a time. Writing, I know, is therapeutic for me. Especially this post.

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  1. Toffeeapple

    said on January 31st, 2015:

    Whilst I can’t pray for you, I do wish you all that you want and need. Thinking about you frequently and sending hugs. xx

  2. Cynthia

    said on February 1st, 2015:

    I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. May God bless you.

    Thank you, Cynthia. I don’t talk about my grief journey very often, but people who have been reading my blog for awhile, I think, want to know. . . carolyn t

  3. Connie

    said on February 2nd, 2015:

    When I read your “grief journal”, I wonder if we are twins who were separated at birth. So many of your comments reflect my life. I am 2 years and 4 months into my journey. We were married 49 years. I grieve not only for John but, the older I get, I grieve also for …how to say it…the youth and years we had together raising our family. The comment that struck closest to home with me was the one about not eating out anymore. There are so many places I think about going but don’t because I don’t seem to “fit” with either the married couples or the other widows. I keep busy but it doesn’t fill the loneliness. Oh well…. Keep on keeping on.

    Thank you, Connie. I’m sure our journeys in grief are no dissimilar. It’s just a different chapter of life, I suppose. Not a very fun one, for sure. Thank you for commenting, and keep in touch. You can email me directly if you want to – email address is on my contact page. . . .carolyn t

  4. janet

    said on February 6th, 2015:

    Hang in there Carolyn. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Janet

    Thank you, Janet. . . . carolyn

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