
It was some years ago I was reading some recipes at egullet.com. And I ran across this recipe. Naturally, the title gave me pause. Huh? Well, if you click over to egullet you can read the story yourself. And it was the story behind it that got me to print out the recipe at all. But you don’t have to – here is what it says . . .
Linda was married for many years to an utter and total cad. When they had been married for about 10 years, her MIL [mother-in-law] shared with her The Totally Secret Family Recipe for some da—ed salad dressing with the admonition “this recipe will NEVER go outside the family; do you understand.” Actually, the dressing was quite good (a lot of anchovies and garlic).
Anyway, some years after the sharing of said recipe, the Total and Utter Cad got worse and worse and worse and it was divorce court (he had 9 other women on the leash). Lots of fiscal stuff involved, and actually, the Total and Utter Cad ended up going to jail (fraud), but his parents still blamed her.
The first thing she did was distribute said recipe to every person she had ever met. She said it felt almost better than the day in court.
Linda’s friend wrote up the recipe and published it on egullet. So, it’s all these years later and I’d never gotten around to making this dressing . . . until the other day. I had all the ingredients (well, I didn’t have tarragon vinegar, but I used basil vinegar instead). You do need to use sturdy lettuce for this salad – the dressing is very thick – in the best sense of the word I tell you it’s kind of like sludge in its viscosity. I actually added just a tiny slurp more oil to the blender because I could hardly get it to . . . well, blend. Pour it into a container and let it chill overnight. Do not use it immediately because the flavor won’t develop until the next day. Take the dressing out of the refrigerator at least 20 minutes before you need to use it. It’s kind of hard to know how much dressing to use – I start off with a scoop of it (smaller than I think I need) and toss and toss and toss and add more once I taste it. You kind of have to mash the lettuce around to get the dressing to spread. But it’s worth the effort. We like it. I haven’t tried it with low-fat cream cheese . . . might be an idea to see whether it made any difference. Anyway, if you try it, think about Linda, who got her revenge!
Divorce Salad Dressing
Recipe: submitted from a user at egullet.com
Servings: 36
6 slices thick-sliced bacon — chopped
4 small anchovy fillets — drained
1/4 cup green onion — minced
8 ounces cream cheese — softened
1 cup vegetable oil
1/3 cup tarragon vinegar
3 cloves garlic — peeled, minced
Salt and pepper, to taste
1. Fry the bacon until crisp and drain on paper towels. Crumble the bacon and reserve.
2. Mince up the green onion, including some of the dark green tops and set aside.
3. In a blender combine the anchovies, cream cheese, oil, vinegar and garlic. Puree until smooth. My addition: If mixture is too thick, add a tiny bit more oil. Pour the dressing into a refrigerator container and stir in the bacon and onions. Chill the dressing overnight to allow flavors to develop. Serve on a salad with sturdy greens like Romaine.
Per Serving: 90 Calories; 9g Fat (92.5% calories from fat); 1g Protein; trace Carbohydrate; trace Dietary Fiber; 9mg Cholesterol; 69mg Sodium.
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